Earning the Trust

So I get it.

You weren't there for me. Which caused me to get depressed and act mean to get back at you. That made u mean to me. Which made me distrust you.

Its a whole vicious cycle of events.
And its because we're all imperfect.

But I don't get why its so hard to let it go as this.
I admitted my wrongs.
Why can't you admit yours too?

I can only do my best to stop this vicious cycle.

I'm still going to love you. Respect you.

But I can't let you continue hurting me.

So when I say I don't trust you anymore.
Don't take it the wrong way.

Its my way of finding a balance to continue listening to you,
respecting you,
loving you.

Yet not be hurt by the way you're continuing to not believe in me,
respect me,
love me.

And you can say you don't need to prove to me that you do love me.
I say its your right. Its your prerogative.

But you can't force me to open my heart to you until I trust you again.

And you can threaten to not promote me.
Continue thinking the worst of me.
Tell the world how terrible a person I am.

But I can finally say this.

I know who I am.

I am loved by God.
I am loved by true friends.
And I have loved you unconditionally.

And your threats will not make a difference in my life anymore.